30 Things I Learned Before 30

  1. Ask for what you want. Even when it’s uncomfortable or awkward. Mind reading doesn’t exist.
  2. Over-tip and pay in cash.
  3. Have a mantra. It can be anything. The point is to have a word, phrase, or thought that you really believe in that will help when you feel doubtful or lost. (Mine is “It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light.”)
  4. Be brave. Be patient. Most situations require one of these.
  5. Overdressed is always better than underdressed.
  6. Working in the suburbs sucks. Working in the city is amazing.
  7. Spend out. Sometimes the only thing that will make a situation better is throwing money at it (hiring movers, buying a new suit for a last minute job interview, buying a slightly more expensive brand instead of a troublesome, cheaper, knockoff). Just do it.
  8. Write your life down. Keep a journal, blog, a one line a day memory book, whatever. I’d like to think my memory is reliable but it isn’t. I’m thankful that much of it exists on paper.
  9. If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If it’s not, you’ll find an excuse.
  10. Sometimes the answer is cookies and sometimes it’s salad.
  11. Random acts of kindness are good for the soul. Do them often and not for credit.
  12. “The cure for anything is salt water – tears, sweat, or the sea.”
  13. Rediscovering a passion you had a child is pretty amazing. I’ve started scrapbooking and drawing again just because I did it when I was a kid and it has brought me a lot of happiness.
  14. Do not, under any circumstance, put anything of the floor of a public restroom. Ever. Ever.
  15. Some things are a sign. Some things are red flags. Some things are meant to be. Some things just inexplicably happen. Everything doesn’t necessarily mean something.
  16. When you pull your hair back, rock some pretty earrings.
  17. Be generous. With your time, money, expertise, kindness. It doesn’t much matter but give freely and often.
  18. Have one really great joke to tell.
  19. Don’t force solutions. Some things just have to resolve themselves.
  20. Be present and, in equal measure, distract yourself.
  21. Don’t eat pre-made frozen meals. Just don’t. They are awful for you (yes, even the “diet”ones) and are loaded with salt and preservatives. Here’s an alternative: premake burritos, bake up a load of corn muffins, or simmer up some soup and put those in the freezer for later.
  22. “Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”
  23. Being early sets a great tone to any situation.
  24. Things that are unconditionally comforting: tea, a hot shower/bath, clean sheets, hugs, hoodies, laughing so hard your stomach hurts, crossing that last item off of your to-do list, watching your favorite movie over and over, and having nothing to do and nowhere to be.
  25. Sewing is a skill that will stand the test of time. Learn how.
  26. Online is not real life and never will be a substitute. It’s awesome to network, keep in touch with old friends, and have the world at your fingertips but in the end it can isolate us even more if we let it.
  27. Credit cards can be really dangerous, use them sparingly.
  28. “Character is how you treat people who can do nothing for you.”
  29. There is so much pressure in this world to be perfect and live up to the craziest of society’s expectations, especially for women, and all of it is totally useless, unending, crap. Ignore, back away, reject, dismiss, let go.
  30. “Go ahead and wallow. Have a good wallow. The thing about feelings is that sometimes, you need to feel your feelings – and you can’t avoid feeling your feelings, and the only way for the feelings to go away is to feel the fucking shit out of them.”– Dan Savage, Savage Lovecast #295

Author: Domestocrat

I'm a lady who enjoys photography, football, cooking, long drives with the windows down, This American Life, kettlecorn, hot yoga, pop punk, my nephews, my cat Reggie, and my home: Boston.

11 thoughts

  1. I agree with so many of these. #29 has been on my mind a lot these days. We redefine what it means to be a woman everyday. I, too, find great solace in hoodies, baths and clean sheets. :) And AMEN to #14. Holy gross, Batman.

    1. I’ve been thinking about it a lot too – I think a lot has to do with having a new job as well as the constant political chatter. I think it’s so important to create our own goals and not listen when others try to put limitations on them.

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