I Need Peace

I get teased a lot for eating dinner at 5:30 every night, going to bed at 9pm, not staying out past 10pm. I’m an old Italian lady at heart (so it’s a good thing I married an Italian man with the same sensibilities). The thing is – I need peace to grow and to thrive. We all define what that is for ourselves. To some it’s dancing the night away, shaking off the grind. To others it’s being at home surrounded by comfort that provides an escape. I have always been happiest in my own world, by myself. When I was a kid I used to play made up games where all I needed was a pencil, piece of paper, and my imagination. When I was a teenager I would sit in my room for hours making mix tapes or reading back issues of Rolling Stone. In college I got in to photography and started my first handful of blogs. Now I prefer to be in my own world in the kitchen or in front of my sewing machine.

Today reminded me of why I need solitude to find happiness. I opened all the windows, the first hint of Fall air rolling in. I lit my new favorite candle. I spent several hours in the kitchen making a new recipe and an old one. I searched for sewing patterns online for a little while. I tried my luck at planting some mint cuttings in our container garden. I didn’t look at the clock, I didn’t think about work, I wasn’t wasting time in front of the TV, I didn’t feel self conscious, I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular. I moved with purpose and focused with intent. I breathed. I was present.

I spend a lot of time listening to the chatter in my head. It’s a part of me I wish I could control more, or that would go away entirely. I know it never will. So to find peace, I need the quiet. When I’m by myself, doing the things I truly love doing (baking, photographing, writing, researching) all of the noise goes away. I can focus, I can breathe, I can be me. I know to some it may seem silly to have a routine with a bedtime, or to pass up nighttime or weekend plans. But the thing is, this is my time – my only time during the week to slow my life down, to take care of myself, and enjoy what really matters.

Author: Domestocrat

I'm a lady who enjoys photography, football, cooking, long drives with the windows down, This American Life, kettlecorn, hot yoga, pop punk, my nephews, my cat Reggie, and my home: Boston.

6 thoughts

  1. Hi Kim,
    I couldn’t agree with you more. It took me a long time (and still working on it) to realize that I need to have down quiet time on the weekends to recharge for the week ahead. My friends joke that they shouldn’t even bother to ask me to do something on a Sunday because say no, but Sunday’s are my day to menu plan (so I can cook and not order out), grocery shop and just have quiet in such a noisy world.

    I have been following your blog and Nicole’s for awhile (at least 2 years) and I really enjoy what both of you add to the interwebs. Also, since now I am rambling-I love the Monday Mix. I save it in my reader to peak at after a recurring Monday work meeting that is horrendous, it is like my little reward for getting through it.

    Also, I live in MA, used to live in Cambridge right near Gather Here. I have never been there, but plan to check it out this fall. I am a very novice knitter, but it is something that I really enjoy and want to advance my skills with. Oh one other thing –loved your pizza crawl idea-that is genius!
    Anyway, thank you for blogging, it is a bright spot in my week reading your writing.

    Best,
    Kendra

  2. I feel you. I also LOVE alone time and get stressed when it’s a week where I know I won’t get enough of it. It’s all about balance though, sometimes it’s great to be with friends on a weekday trivia night even if I know I’ll be tired the next day, or see a show on a Monday night. Other times it’s great to be able to say no and just curl up with a great book and be able to stay an extra 30 min at the gym without worrying about what’s next.

    1. You’re so right. A lot of the time when I try to find balance I end up feeling guilty for saying no or for turning down plans. But the older I get the more I realize how important it is to take care of myself first. Thank you for commenting!

  3. It was really interesting to read this since I’m the exact opposite. Brain is much like you and sometimes it’s tough for me to understand how he doesn’t want to constantly be social. Really eye opening. Thanks!

    1. John is the opposite as well and was happily out and about while I was in all weekend. But, we both accept the other and, at the end of the day, are much happier together for the time spent apart in our own elements.

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