Two years ago today John and I got married.
Nothing has changed and yet, everything has changed. It’s a strange feeling. I can’t describe 100% what’s it’s like to be a wife (I have the rest of my life to try) and I probably can’t put it into words as eloquently as I’d like. But I’ll make an attempt…
For the first time in my life I feel complete. I feel at ease, safe, walls down, grateful, humbled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a man or husband completed the lowly life I had been leading. What I’m saying is that marriage feels like the piece I was missing. I think I’ve led a lot of my life, as we all do, hoping other things will make me feel whole: a good job, money, better self esteem. And striving for more of those things: a raise, to lose a few pounds, to learn a new skill, to make more friends. But this new feeling of fullness has erased those superficial wants and desires.
I still obviously have personal goals and work very hard to achieve them (my career and my health being two huge examples). But being married, and the subsequent ways it has led to me being more comfortable in my own skin, has made me feel more confident and special in ways I could never have discovered by myself. John’s endless support has taught me that I am deserving, worthy, and entitled to being my best self. It’s such a cliche but he really has made me a better person. I could have gotten there on my own, maybe eventually. But for the first time in my whole life, what I have feels like enough. I feel blessed to be able to thank John for that. Happy anniversary, sweetie!