“I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass.”
When I was in high school this Counting Crows lyric peppered all of those bittersweet moments of growing up and moving on that you experience: prom, graduation, going away to college. That was the first time in my life I wanted desperately to stop time and to never let go of those moments.
And now I find that happening again. I can’t believe that in 38 days I’ll be married. I’ll walk down the aisle as one person and return as another. I want to hold on to these moments as me before the wedding; the only me I’ve known for 28 years.
On the other hand I’m doing my best to exercise being in the moment. I know our wedding day will go by so fast and I’m already having anxiety about remembering every little detail. I think the best I can do, what I keep telling myself, is to be completely present and to acknowledge every instance of gratitude. It’s all just so overwhelming and I never feel like words are enough. I wish I could do more to express how much all of the generosity, support, and love means to me.
But for now, for my immediate present, deep breaths.